


Child Problems

by madwriter223



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Age Regression/De-Aging, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Some Humor, Spatial Anomaly, Threat of War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3106100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madwriter223/pseuds/madwriter223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new someone on the Enterprise. A rather young new someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Child Problems

“You're absolutely sure he's fine?” Captain Kirk asked over the inhumanly loud wails of the kid.

Doctor McCoy crossed his arms and nodded. “Bruises here and there, a bump on his head, and he's a little shook up. Other than that he's absolutely fine.”

“Then why is he crying like that?” Jim asked, covering his ears. It felt like his eardrums were going to rupture from the noise.

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Cause he's a goddamn kid, Jim. He's alone in an unfamiliar environment and he's probably scared to death after that tumble he took.” 

Jim snorted. “Yeah, 'tumble'. I like that, I'll go with that in the official report.”

“I believe describing the anomaly in detail would be more appropriate, Captain.” Spock commented as he entered the Sickbay, raising an eyebrow at the wailing child.

“Spock! Just the alien I wanted!” McCoy grabbed the Vulcan's arm and yanked him closer to the biobed. He then grasped the still crying kid and lifted him up so that he was eye-level with Spock's head. “Look! Pointed ears and weird-ass eyebrows, just like you!” he yelled, a bit of desperation colouring his voice.

The child opened his eyes and quieted down upon seeing Spock. He stared at the Vulcan for a long moment, then sniffled pathetically and reached out towards him.

“Thank God that worked.” McCoy muttered, thrusting the kid into Spock's startled hold. The kid wrapped his little arms around the Vulcan's neck, squeezing tight as he hid his tear-stained face against Spock's collarbone. The Vulcan blinked slowly, then moved his hands so that they supported the little body more securely against his chest.

Jim uncovered his ears and sighed in relief. “I think my ears will be ringing for a month.”

“Stop whining, Jim.” McCoy said, taking the PADD nurse Chapel handed him. “At least now I can actually read the DNA results in peace.”

Jim, bless his ass, waited a few minutes before asking. “Well?”

McCoy swallowed and decided he needed to sit down immediately. “Well, there's good news and there's bad news.”

Jim and Spock shared a look. “What's the good news?”

“The good news is we know his species and we got a match to his DNA.” He stared at the kid. “He's Romulan with a dash of Vulcan great-grandpa.”

“We got a Romulan kid here and you're telling me that's the good news?” Jim asked incredulously. “Romulus has been really twitchy lately, in case you hadn't notice?”

“Calm yourself, Captain.” Spock said, eyebrows drawing together as the child squirmed in his arms.

McCoy set down the PADD and helped hold the boy steady while Spock corrected his grip on the child.

“The bad news is it's Nero.” he said, ignoring the way Spock stiffened.

“That's Nero's kid?!” Jim sputtered, eyes wide.

“Nope. This is 100% pure Nero. He's either a clone, the real thing-”

“I calculated that Nero will not be born for another 97.301 years, Doctor.” Spock said tensely.

“-or the anomaly sucked the kid from his time into ours.” McCoy concluded.

“Great.” Jim facepalmed. “How do we send him back?”

“We cannot, Captain.” Spock said softly, most of his attention on the little Romulan. “The anomaly receded shortly after the child appeared in the mess room. My department's research indicated there is very little possibility of the anomaly appearing again. At least not in this quadrant.”

“So you're saying we have no possible way of returning the kid back to his home.”

“Not unless we can recreate the anomaly.”

“And what are the chances of that?” Jim asked, rubbing a hand down his face wearily. He had a feeling he already knew the answer.

“None in Hell.” McCoy threw his arms up in frustration. “You saw how the equipment reacted to that thing! What didn't fry on the spot shut down completely.”

“Yeah, Scotty had sobbed something about urgent repairs.” Kirk muttered to himself, then looked at the child in Spock's arms. “So we can't send him back home. Can we just send him to Romulus?”

“And how do you propose we do that?” McCoy rolled his eyes at him. “You know as well as I do that since Vulcan went bye-bye,” He paused to lay a comforting hand on Spock's shoulder briefly. “Romulus is locked up tighter than an old woman's knickers.”

“Notifying Romulus that a Federation Starship is in possession of a Romulan child will also have devastating consequences. There is a high possibility that the _Enterprise_ will be accused of kidnapping. The Romulans may even use this as a reason to start a war.”

“Oh, come on, we just finished the war with the Klingons!”

“And as such, we are still weakened.” Spock looked down at the child, one hand moving to pet his dark hair. “This child may be the bringer of catastrophe.”

“Well, we can't keep him. How the hell would we explain his parentage?” Kirk sighed deeply. He looked sadly at the boy. “I, for one thing, don't want to just leave him in the nearest planet's foster care. Who knows what might happen to him.”

Spock's arms tightened slightly around the boy. Nero made a snuffling noise, little fingers playing with the collar of the Vulcan's uniform.

McCoy cocked his head to the side, staring at the pair. “Maybe we could pass him off as Spock's kid.”

Kirk blinked at him in surprise. Spock's face was impassive.

“Well, look at them.” McCoy gestured at them with one hand. “Vulcans and Romulans are close enough cousins, we could pull it off.”

“Doctor.” Spock lifted a single eyebrow. The kid tried his best to imitate him, and ended up scrunching his forehead. “How would we explain the lack of shared genetics?”

McCoy pursed his lips to hide his smile at the kid's face. “Hey, I'm the CMO. I'll personally do the tests and prove he's yours.”

Kirk crossed his arms. “Are you saying you'll fake the results?”

“You can bet your ass I will.”

The Captain blinked at him then nodded seriously. “I'm down with that.”

“Great.” McCoy then turned to the Vulcan. “So, Spock, how'd you feel about having an illegitimate child with a Romulan you met only once in your life and can't possibly name if anyone asked?”

Spock lifted an eyebrow and shifted the child against his chest. “I feel I should object to making me seem promiscuous.”

McCoy snorted. “One time does not make you a hussy.”

Kirk nodded. “We can tell people they got you drunk and took advantage of you, that'd work too.”

Spock eyed him for a moment. “That won't be necessary, Captain.” He turned to face McCoy. “Leonard, I have become a parent. Will you join me in fulfilling parental obligations?”

Bones grinned and placed his hands on his hips. “Sure, what the hell.”

“Great! I can be the cool uncle.” Kirk grinned at them and stepped up to Spock, nudging him in the side teasingly.

Nero kicked him in the ribs, hard.

“Ow! Son of a-”

Nero giggled and snuggled closer to his new parent.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Kink Meme prompt:  
> In some random (insert reason here) chain of events, Nero is turned into a four-year-old romulan. And somehow gets aboard the Enterprise.   
> And to make matters worse, he's decided that Spock's now his mother.  
> and bonus if he's a brat to everyone else, while being all cute to his new 'mommy'.


End file.
